My first blog on this topic was written because of the potential to be in an unhealthy relationship, then read or hear about the ‘Twin Flames’ movement and suddenly feel the relief of having a new paradigm to fit into, that unfortunately forgets the one golden rule of twin flames or indeed any relationship that is for your highest good: ATTACHMENT IS NOT THE SAME AS LOVE.

I read an article recently that alarmed me. The following is an excerpt:

‘CHALLENGE: Your sense of belonging and connection to the twin make the rest of the world and other relationships, interactions, and connections feel strained, flawed, and even unwanted. The “perfect fit” with the twin is contrasted by your feeling even more out-of-place, foreign, or ostracized in the world around you and the world at large. You have filled the inner void, but now sense the human dynamics around you are irreparably empty, hollow, misguided, and/or uncomfortable. Despite the twin relationship in your life, you may feel extremely depressed or discouraged because the rest of the world really does NOT understand you now or share your perspectives.’

RED FLAGS!!!

Just no! This is text book unhealthy, and also potentially dangerous as it holds a kernel of truth. Yes your relationship gives you a sense of connectedness and belonging. Yes you may feel that nothing else can come close to what you are experiencing, but if it is at the expense of other relationships, it is heading into polluted water. Be careful. It is not easy to be honest with yourself. Toxic relationships also have an intensity that is heady, irresistible and encompassing and it may be hard to differentiate until you become more fully conscious. We are biologically programmed to feel a rush of chemicals that promote bonding, when we meet a potential mate. We love that high. It interferes with all our other faculties. We describe it as ‘falling in love’ because it has the same adrenalin, that in the moment, is the same feeling as I had when skydiving and yes, temporarily we may forget we even have other people in our lives. But if that feeling devolves into a sense that all your other relationships are ‘irreparably empty, hollow, misguided and/or uncomfortable’  then that relationship, my dear, has become an obsessive attachment.

The writer describes the Twin Flame relationship as filling ‘your inner void.’ That ‘void’ can not be filled with anything other than self awareness and truly loving yourself.

Let ideas like this go down with the sun.

Relationship Reading